hello, my name is pig. this is my diva bitch list.
1. nerdy cats – rachel and luis can write blogs, and i can’t? no EFFIN way! i’m the biggest diva alive. i own them and this blog. get me food bitches.
2. luis moreno – what sort evil person kicks an owl? really dude? really??? i mean i hate birds too but c’mon! that’s a bit much.
3. cats with thumbs -how the hell do i grow thumbs?! do you know what i would do if i had thumbs??? that’s right! i would get rachel and luis to give more food!
4. belle stealing lurve – mom is always stealing my lurve! i always start out in the morning with the lurve and then belle walks over with all that fur. pretends to be cute but she aint!
5. charlie sheen – what the eff is wrong with charlie??? bi-winning? more like bi-retarded. for the record, i do have tiger blood.
6. kim kardashian’s new single – wow. kim, stick to modeling. leave the singing to the real divas.
7. the bachelor – brad womack sucks balls! how am i not in the final two? where is my effin rose BRAD?!?
8. hipsters -what you guys think you’re tight with your big hats, big glasses, plaid shirts, tight jeans?? well you aint! stop buying blue bottle in my alley, that’s my coffee bitches!
9. maru’s hair – i can’t believe maru is showing off hair now! WTF!! first he pretends to be cute jumping into boxes, and now this? i’m gonna make a video of me jumping onto all my different thrones. pig > maru. nuf said!
10. jimmy fallon – you think you’re funny jimmy? well you’re not! you aint no tosh.o. just cuz you came up with charlie sheen’s winning fragrance and the jersey floor. chasing my tail is funnier than that.
i am pig and this has been my bitch list. get out of my face bitch!